Wordless Wednesday

A chalk drawing that appeared on my driveway courtesy of my 14-year-old daughter.

How to encourage a special needs mom (when you aren't one)

This week I read a delightful post written by Aprille at Beautiful in his time. The post is

How to encourage a special needs mom (when you aren't one). 

Jump over and read it. Then come back and I will share my two cents on a few of the pieces of advice.

4. Ask her questions.

Asking questions is great. If you are a stranger in the middle of the grocery store, you might not get the whole truth. If Luke is with me, you might not get the whole answer. Even though he doesn't talk, he hears everything. There are just some things he doesn't need to hear. 

6. Keep advice to yourself.

Unless you are a knowledgeable about autism, sensory processing disorder, verbal apraxia or education, I would rather you keep your advice to yourself. On the other hand, while I have done lots of research, it doesn't mean I have heard or read about all the latest-and-greatest methods. Telling me about something that sounds promising or interesting is OK. This is not the same as offering advice. Better yet, send me the link then I won't have to remember enough to Google the information.

I also love, love, love to hear stories where a child has made great strides. It gives me hope.

7. Don't invalidate or downplay her hardship by saying "oh, my child does that too."

One of the first things that I learned when I took the parent training at Judevine (now Touch Point Autism Services) is that most of the behaviors our children with autism do, typical developing children will also do. The difference can be summed up with D.I.F 

Duration, Intensity and Frequency

8. Refuse to compare your child's development to hers.

Most children have what can be called a typical development. The development of a child with autism is all over the place. Neither one is normal or abnormal. 

I have a friend who has a son (also named Luke) who are the same age, same grade as my Luke. Her Luke is a head taller and academically very advanced, so it is almost funny to "compare" the two boys. What is hard is when the little ones, e.g. toddlers, preschoolers,  reach a developmental milestone that my Luke isn't even close to. But I still want to hear about it and celebrate. 

9. Offer tangible help.

Asking for help takes time and energy. It also takes a willingness to verbally admit that you can't do it all - even though I am often told "I don't know how you do it." (This is a big assumption.) I have two neighbors who will shovel my drive without being asked. 

10. Pray for her and her child.

In my book, this should be a given!

Aprille's best advice is --

Simply "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."

Wordless Wednesday

A picture to cool you off on a day where the predicted high is 94 with a heat index of 100+. Did you know there could be such joy in roller skating in the snow?

It Takes a Village - Part 1

From the Therapeutic Horsemanship web sight hippotherapy is defined as:

Hippotherapy: Literally “horse therapy” or “treatment with the help of the horse." This is a dynamic treatment approach that uses the movement of the horse based on principles of classic Hippotherapy – neuromotor function and sensory processing. This program uses the horse as the therapy tool and is designed for individuals with disabilities to increase balance and control of movement on and off the horse. Specially trained volunteers are used as the direct link along with the therapist or instructor’s guidance to the client and the achievement of personal therapeutic goals using the movement of the horse. 

If I remember right, Luke started hippotherapy in the spring 2007. Except for January and February (when it is too cold), he rides every Tuesday night. Through the years he has had several different SLP's and OT's. His main goal has always been to meet some of his sensory integration needs. They have also worked on core strength, balance, fine motor skills, following directions, colors, counting, speech, and language. And I know there are things I have forgotten. 

It is when he is on his horse that he will actually talk. He will verbally tell the horse to "walk on", "go", and "trot". The movement of the horse helps his body in such a way that he is able to do the motor planning to get the words out. Trotting and trail rides are Luke's most favorite things to do. 

Laying on the horse allows the whole body to feel the movement.

 When Luke was smaller they had him standing on the horse while the horse was moving. He loved to do this. I always joked that it was sensory therapy and vocational training  all in one.

One of the wonderful parts of Luke's hippotherapy is the wonderful people we have met - therapists, volunteers, parents and kids. 

Therapeutic Horsemanship is an important part of our village.

(Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

Today's note home from school said: "Luke worked well today! We figured out at one point that he was only choosing the correct answer if I had a Skittle in my hand!"

Blessings

This week is the 3rd and final week of ESY (extended school year). Of all the ESY sessions my son has attended since starting ECSE (early childhood special education) in October 2005, this session has by far been the best. Most have been good. A few have been glorified day care. But this has been the best.

This past school year was not one of the best. It would rank close to the bottom. It wasn't good for various reasons. The good news is he will have a new team - sped teacher, gen ed teacher, & SLP - this next school year. He will have the same OT who we have known since ECSE evaluation time. I really, really, really want to be able to meet with this new team and not whine about last year. They had nothing to do with the situation. We need to start fresh.

The ESY sped teacher, SLP and para-professional have provided a super learning experience which will give us (the home school team) something positive to build off of for this coming school year. Every note sent home or email exchange with these ladies just puts a smile on my face. Just this summer he has shown that he does understand number concepts and he can learn sight words. He has also been effectively using his iPad for communication. Today's note home said he was easily picking a spoken word out of a field of three cards and had some struggles with a field of five. 

For the 2013 - 2104 school year his team will have a wide variety of experience. I know who the classroom teacher is, though neither of my girls had her. Word on the street is that her students love her and that she is strict in the classroom. When I told her this, her response was: I guess I'm strict, but I prefer to think I'm "structured." I have very high expectations and prefer to begin with high expectations and lower them, if necessary, rather than begin with low expectations. I find that most students will push themselves to reach higher standards and feel proud of themselves when they realize just how capable they really are. How perfect is that for someone with autism?! The sped teacher is straight out of school. She is taking the time to go and observe ESY. And she has experience working with people on the spectrum. I don't know anything yest about the SLP, but we will meet in a few weeks.

My son and I are very blessed to have to ESY sped teacher, SLP and para-professional.

Sunday Solace

"As the mother of a very young child with autism, one of the first things I learned that was on some days, the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability; the only consistent attribute - the inconsistency."

Ellen Notbohn
Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew
"It begins ..."; page xiii

You Deserve a Break Today

I spent part of the 4th in the ER with my youngest. Being the strong, silent type (non-verbal), he wasn't able to tell me what happened. Around 10 a.m. he was unable to put any weight on his right foot. The pain was bad enough that he found some scissors and tried to find something to cut off the bottom of the foot (yes, I stopped him!)  Whenever he is hurt he tries to brush or cut it off. It in a literal way it makes sense.  Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

After getting a look at the foot (which is a challenge when you can't touch) I could see nothing wrong, so off to the ER we went. He has an extremely high pain tolerance so I knew something was wrong.  He jumped/ran to the car on one foot when I told him we were going. Another clue that something is really wrong. The doctor was great and didn't even try to examine the foot until his anxiety was down. They then took 6 x-rays of the foot area. They only thing they discovered was some internal inflammation which went along with the slight external swelling. Diagnosis was a sprain. They wrapped the foot in an ace bandage and put a brace on it. Sent us home with instructions to keep the foot elevated and ice it throughout the day. We got home about 4 p.m. and by 5:30 he is limping around, doing his own thing. Friday morning he was running bare footed. I will call our pediatrician on Monday, but I thinking I don't need to do the ortho follow-up suggested by the ER.

Since the foot seemed fine, on Friday we headed to Brendan's Playground, an inclusive playground. On the way we stopped for lunch at McDonald's. We are working very hard to have him use his iPad for all communication, so I put his typical order to two buttons in Proloquo2Go - Double Cheeseburger and Large Soda. I also added "3 cookies" as a reinforcer for doing a good job ordering his own meal. He very reluctantly ordered his meal, but he did it!

This was our first trip to Brendan's Playground. In the past we have been to Zachary's Playground and loved it. I was hoping it would be just as good because it is much closer. We were not disappointed - it was wonderful. There was some shade, a great variety of swings and a water play area. Since it is less than 15 minutes from our house, I'm sure we will be going often. And including stops at McDonald's to work on the communication.

Independence Day

Every July 4th I remember the one 14 years ago now that I spent traveling from Nanjing, Jiangsu, China to Guangzhou, Guangdong, China. The adoption of my oldest daughter was complete and we were traveling to Guangzhou to get her US visa so she could come home to the United States. It was a Sunday morning when the eight families from our adoption agency gathered in the hotel lobby to get our babies Chinese passports and then head to the airport. Unfortunately the transportation was late which made us late getting to the airport. We were the last to board the plane. It is amazing and delightful to see a plane full of people move without being asked when 8 new families board the plane. The flight itself was uneventful. The hotel we were to stay at in Guangzhou, the White Swan, had transportation at the airport, waiting.

There were no bar-b-ques, no picnics, no swimming, no fireworks (and we were in China!). But it was one of the best 4th of July's I have ever spent. I was a mom.

I hope everyone has a joyous Independence Day.